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\u201cThe most resilient individuals are those who remain kind, even after the world has shattered their spirits.\u201d ~Raven Emotion<\/strong><\/p>\n Several months ago, I made the tough decision to end my friendship with my childhood best mate, someone I had regarded as practically a brother.<\/p>\n It was a difficult choice, but it was necessary.<\/p>\n Throughout the last five years, my friend (let’s call him Andy) became progressively more disrespectful and oblivious to my emotions.<\/p>\n He would criticize me weekly for being optimistic and steadfast in the face of what he termed my \u201cfailures.\u201d<\/p>\n Still, I attempted to be empathetic.<\/p>\n I recognized his anxiety about graduating two years behind his peers.<\/p>\n I was also aware of his feelings of inadequacy for not being as affluent and accomplished as others.<\/p>\n However, my tolerance diminished over time.<\/p>\n It is tough to keep showing warmth and understanding when someone not only overlooks your value but also ridicules you for being \u201cnaive.\u201d<\/p>\n (He thought I was deluding myself about my lack of success\u2014as if only anger and frustration were appropriate responses to setbacks.)<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve consistently made an effort to be kind, you might have questioned, \u201cWhat\u2019s the point?\u201d<\/p>\n Although we don\u2019t look for rewards, enduring a lack of gratitude can be exhausting, transforming a simple \u201cthank you\u201d into something more significant than we wish it to be.<\/p>\n I almost surrendered my kindness because of Andy.<\/p>\n But fortunately, I didn’t, and in the months leading up to my decision, I discovered vital lessons about remaining kind, even when it appears futile.<\/p>\n I hope these reflections assist you in remaining authentic to yourself.<\/p>\n ### 1. Don\u2019t use kindness as a bargaining chip.<\/p>\n Just like excessive optimism can become unhealthy, kindness can be delivered in a harmful manner.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s what I discovered.<\/p>\n During my teenage years, I was what some might label a “nice guy.”<\/p>\n Someone who takes pride in being nice but isn\u2019t truly genuine.<\/p>\n Like many stereotypical “nice guys,” I perceived kindness as a transaction. (\u201cI\u2019m doing all this for them, so they *ought* to do the same for me\u201d was a common refrain.)<\/p>\n I would be generous, but I constantly compared what others did for me with what I did for them.<\/p>\n Frustration grew if they didn\u2019t reciprocate in a satisfactory manner.<\/p>\n Not my finest hour, but it illustrates how even kindness can be weaponized.<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not only \u201cnice guys\u201d who engage in this behavior.<\/p>\n Numerous parents make the same error: attempting to guilt their children into thankfulness by spotlighting their sacrifices.<\/p>\n This typically leads to children feeling guilty and distrustful, pondering whether sacrifices were made out of love or selfish reasons.<\/p>\n When kindness is conditional, it becomes about fulfilling one\u2019s desperate need for appreciation.<\/p>\n Naturally, this is unhealthy for everyone involved.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why it\u2019s crucial to…<\/p>\n ### 2. View kindness as a reflection of who you are.<\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to forget\u2014especially when unappreciated\u2014that kindness is essentially a representation of oneself.<\/p>\n You are kind because it is your true nature, not to earn the approval of others.<\/p>\n Looking back at my friendship with Andy, I\u2019m disappointed by his attacks on my self-worth and dismissal of my emotions, yet I take pride in my resilience.<\/p>\n That\u2019s the crux of it.<\/p>\n Being kind, even without acknowledgment, is a demonstration of self-respect.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not about seeking validation.<\/p>\n It\u2019s about remaining loyal to who you are, regardless of how ungrateful someone might be.<\/p>\n ### 3. Remember you have the option to withdraw your kindness.<\/p>\n Kind individuals often struggle with this concept.<\/p>\n We worry that halting our generous actions indicates a loss of our goodness.<\/p>\n This fear kept me connected to Andy longer than necessary: I didn\u2019t want to be told I wasn\u2019t genuinely kind.<\/p>\n I continued to act generously despite his hurtful behavior.<\/p>\n For *years*, I took on various chores typically shared among roommates.<\/p>\n I aimed to give him the room to focus on his studies (even though I had my own).<\/p>\n I ignored the signals that he had no intention of treating me better.<\/p>\n Years earlier, he\u2019d articulated that my efforts didn\u2019t necessitate reciprocation.<\/p>\n Yet, I tolerated the disrespect, persisting in my kindness. Because kindness isn\u2019t conditional, right? It\u2019s a part of who you are, right?<\/p>\n But here\u2019s my<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cThe most resilient individuals are those who remain kind, even after the world has shattered their spirits.\u201d ~Raven Emotion […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9658097,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"Default","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9658096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9658096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9658096"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9658096\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9658097"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9658096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9658096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9658096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}