![](\"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/how-menopause-revealed-the-concealed-trauma-i-ignored-for-years.jpg\")
\n\u201cThere is no path to wholeness without first accepting our brokenness. If we allow them, wounds can change us.\u201d ~Sue Monk Kidd<\/p>\n
\n\u201cThere is no path to wholeness without first accepting our brokenness. If we allow them, wounds can change us.\u201d ~Sue Monk Kidd<\/p>\n
Menopause brought to light everything left unresolved and unfulfilled in my life, prompting me to face it with dignity.<\/p>\n
This transformation wasn’t instantaneous; it unfolded over a decade of exploration. To be truthful, the journey continues, though now there’s less “aaaaggggghhhhh” and more “oh.”<\/p>\n
Transitioning from Nemesis Inferno to It’s a Small World, I can now reflect with kindness on my younger self at the onset of perimenopause. She was obsessively searching online for her symptoms, uncertain if she had a brain tumor or an underactive thyroid.<\/p>\n
This path began around the age of thirty-five. I had just relocated to Brighton to pursue songwriting, diving in with the zeal of a twenty-four-year-old.<\/p>\n
However, my sense of security began to falter.<\/p>\n
Onstage, my thoughts would evaporate. My heart would race for no reason at night. I gained weight. Panic attacks struck while I walked into town, prompting me to cling to a bank wall.<\/p>\n
My libido surged like that of a teenager. Anger became explosive, and my partner felt unable to breathe without inciting outbursts.<\/p>\n
Neither Dr. Google nor my actual doctor could make sense of the symptoms.<\/p>\n
Things unraveled further when I toured with a band at forty-two.<\/p>\n
What should have been enjoyable spiraled into a nightmare. I hardly slept and returned home a disaster, believing that rest would rejuvenate me.<\/p>\n
But insomnia had taken control, and my mind ensnared me in its loop.<\/p>\n
In a moment of desperation, I visited a functional medicine practitioner. Lab tests indicated “low everything,” and I encountered the term perimenopause for the first time.<\/p>\n
Around this period, I organized a speaking event in Brighton and delved into therapeutic methods for healing.<\/p>\n
Music, which once thrilled me, now scared me. In search of tranquility, I discovered RTT, a deep subconscious reset through hypnosis. It revolutionized everything and pointed me toward a new professional direction.<\/p>\n
As I grew, a vital realization struck me:<\/p>\n
Narratives of women in midlife unveiled more than mere symptoms\u2014a connection between the intensity of menopause and experiences from childhood.<\/p>\n
Studies indicated that women with elevated ACE scores were 9.6 times more likely to endure severe menopausal symptoms.<\/p>\n
A 2023 Emory University study revealed that perimenopausal women with trauma backgrounds faced heightened levels of PTSD and depression.<\/p>\n
A 2017 study linked ACEs to an increased likelihood of major depressive episodes during menopause.<\/p>\n
A 2024 review underscored early trauma as a factor in hormonal sensitivity, shedding light on my challenges.<\/p>\n
I sought to understand the biological basis for all this.<\/p>\n
Research indicated trauma modifies GABA receptors, essential for soothing the nervous system. It also impairs our ability to metabolize and benefit from progesterone, heightening our sensitivity to hormonal changes.<\/p>\n
Facing my history, I recognized that I had enmeshment trauma. My parents treated me as their confidante, resulting in hyper-responsibility, anxiety, and guilt\u2014traits not suited for menopause.<\/p>\n
Being a “daddy’s girl,” I found myself attracted to older, unavailable men, exacerbating my emotional distress.<\/p>\n
I remained financially reliant on my parents until I turned forty-four, culminating in a transformative choice: ending my long-term partnership.<\/p>\n
After this, I discovered resilience, cultivated financial independence and personal boundaries, and acknowledged the demands of menopause.<\/p>\n
Menopause taught me about addressing unresolved matters, prioritizing myself, resting, and detaching from societal pressures.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s more than hormonal; it\u2019s a life transition shaped by the state of our nervous system, resilience, and emotional adaptability.<\/p>\n
For those who’ve survived trauma, resilience can be diminished. While hormone therapy can assist, it isn\u2019t the entire answer.<\/p>\n
Supporting ourselves outside of conventional medicine through gentle, nurturing practices like yoga, nutritious meals, and self-care routines can be life-changing.<\/p>\n
The most revolutionary step I took was creating time to slow down.<\/p>\n
Now, eighteen months after menopause, I contemplate the lessons I\u2019ve gained.<\/p>\n
Menopause illuminated everything unresolved, unmet, and unexamined.<\/p>\n
It revealed the ways I still placed others before myself.<\/p>\n
It taught me the significance of more space and time.<\/p>\n
It freed me from standards of beauty and societal expectations.<\/p>\n
Symptoms transformed into love notes from my inner child, directing me back to my true self.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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