{"id":9665298,"date":"2026-03-06T15:28:41","date_gmt":"2026-03-06T15:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/?p=9665298"},"modified":"2026-03-06T15:28:41","modified_gmt":"2026-03-06T15:28:41","slug":"i-discovered-love-by-releasing-the-desire-to-be-selected","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/?p=9665298","title":{"rendered":"I Discovered Love by Releasing the Desire to Be Selected"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\u201cYou can’t win love through performance. It’s about showing your true self and trusting that the right person will appreciate who you are.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I stepped into a softly lit space radiating “Love Jones” ambiance. Gentle neo-soul melodies flowed in the background, shadows danced in the red illumination, and the beat vibrated in my chest. A setting meant for sincere discussions.<\/p>\n

He arrived just as I was enjoying my drink. Dark gaze, charming grin, a demeanor that urged me to sit up more attentively. \u201cWhat\u2019s in your glass?\u201d<\/p>\n

In no time, our dialogue shifted from casual chatter to profound subjects. Our paths, aspirations, and genuine wishes. The exchange felt mature and deliberate.<\/p>\n

Exchanging numbers made my heart flutter in a way it hadn’t in a long while. I floated out of that hidden bar.<\/p>\n

Sunday came\u2014my day for recharging. I didn\u2019t anticipate a rapid response from him. By Wednesday, his silence was palpable. Time passes quickly when you\u2019re occupied assisting others.<\/p>\n

I dropped a brief message, sharing how much I valued our conversation and wishing to hear from him. He never got back to me.<\/p>\n

I was left confused. He came up to me, asked for my contact information. Where did I falter?<\/p>\n

I reflected on that evening through my journal. I inquired about his profession, family, future ambitions\u2014open-ended prompts aiming to make him feel acknowledged.<\/p>\n

Then it dawned on me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a high school counselor with a master’s degree, equipped with years of building trust. People describe me as naturally friendly, fostering an environment conducive to vulnerability. It\u2019s my talent.<\/p>\n

On that date, I was in counseling mode. Concentrated on forming a connection with<\/em> him, I didn’t pause to consider: Do I genuinely want to connect to<\/em> him?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was not insincere, merely acting in my authentic professional manner. That was the problem.<\/p>\n

This incident wasn’t isolated. I recalled previous dates: a lawyer narrating his divorce, a teacher with aspirations for a nonprofit, a musician grappling with a fraught relationship with his father. I facilitated the discussions but failed to assess my feelings.<\/p>\n

I was unaware if I found any of them attractive or if our values aligned\u2014I was absorbed in excelling at my role.<\/p>\n

This method proved effective in my professional environment, but not on romantic outings. I needed to cease leaning on my professional abilities and start evaluating my own desires.<\/p>\n

I delved into Loving Bravely<\/em>, complied nightly journal entries, listened to Louise Hay, persisted with yoga. I wasn\u2019t playing a role, but I lacked clarity about my wants.<\/p>\n

After recognizing what I treasured in myself, I expressed what I sought in a partner\u2014a genuine best friend who would uplift my dreams and maintain his own, without dominance.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had already witnessed the other side. I would prefer to remain single than compromise.<\/p>\n

Hence, I shifted my focus toward self-exploration, rather than seeking a partner.<\/p>\n

I analyzed former relationships\u2014what I accepted, overlooked, or sacrificed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou can’t win love through performance. It’s about showing your true self and trusting that the right person will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9665299,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"Default","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9665298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9665298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9665298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9665298\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9665299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9665298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9665298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9665298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}