{"id":9665369,"date":"2026-04-09T15:43:07","date_gmt":"2026-04-09T15:43:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/?p=9665369"},"modified":"2026-04-09T15:43:07","modified_gmt":"2026-04-09T15:43:07","slug":"put-aside-the-phone-genuinely-observing-the-people-we-cherish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/?p=9665369","title":{"rendered":"Put Aside the Phone: Genuinely Observing the People We Cherish"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-456776 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/put-aside-the-phone-genuinely-observing-the-people-we-cherish.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/put-aside-the-phone-genuinely-observing-the-people-we-cherish.png 640w, https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/put-aside-the-phone-genuinely-observing-the-people-we-cherish-1.png 300w, https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/put-aside-the-phone-genuinely-observing-the-people-we-cherish-2.png 206w, https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Man-and-his-daughter-600x400.png 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>&#8220;The greatest gift we can give to anyone is our undivided attention.&#8221; ~Thich Nhat Hanh<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When Judy was three, I initially missed something significant. She had devoted ten minutes to arranging cushions on the living room floor, creating what she imagined to be a perfect landing area. Climbing onto the couch, she extended her arms and gave me that familiar look kids have just before attempting something bold.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Baba, look!&#8221; she exclaimed.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I held my phone, my ever-present companion. I can&#8217;t remember if I was checking a Slack notification, reading an email, or merely refreshing out of habit. Whatever it was faded from my mind almost instantly, like numerous notifications do\u2014urgent at first but soon forgotten.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Hang on, habibti,&#8221; I responded, my thumb still gliding over the screen.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She leaped. I heard the cushions scatter. By the time I looked up, she was already retreating to her room, her stuffed elephant dragging by one ear.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I went back to my phone.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>At that time, the moment seemed trivial. Children leap off furniture; parents check their phones. It didn&#8217;t appear to be regretful in any way. Yet this marked the beginning of a trend I wouldn\u2019t recognize for years, because it stemmed from absence, which accumulates unnoticed.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the years that followed, her pleas persisted. &#8220;Baba, check this out.&#8221; &#8220;Baba, come take a look.&#8221; &#8220;Baba, watch me.&#8221; Each request quieter than the last, each met by a version of me that was present physically but not mentally, engrossed in a 6.1-inch display.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I led engineering teams, my job characterized by being responsive, managing many tasks simultaneously and never leaving a message unread for long. I took pride in my ability to switch contexts quickly, viewing it as a talent. I brought that mentality home each night without contemplating its suitability.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What I failed to realize, which took far too long, was that Judy perceived every absence.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One Saturday when she was around five, she was seated at the kitchen table, telling a story as she colored with markers. A purple dog lived on a rainbow, befriended a cloud named Martin, and both were invited to a birthday celebration on the moon, even though the dog hesitated since he&#8217;d never traveled to space.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>I interjected with &#8220;wow,&#8221; &#8220;oh cool,&#8221; and &#8220;then what happened&#8221; at what I thought were appropriate moments. My phone, concealed under the table, was displaying a conversation about a challenging deployment.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She fell silent.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn\u2019t immediately notice the silence. Several seconds elapsed before I recognized it and looked up. She was watching me, expression neutral, not upset but recognizing something she strongly sensed.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s the expression that remains\u2014her neutral, understanding face. At merely five years old, she had already made the connections.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even when we assume they aren\u2019t, children are observant. They don\u2019t need explicit confirmation that your phone captures your interest more than they do. They perceive it in your delayed reactions, the focus of your gaze, the way you say &#8220;tell<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;The greatest gift we can give to anyone is our undivided attention.&#8221; ~Thich Nhat Hanh When Judy was three, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9665370,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"Default","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9665369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9665369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9665369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9665369\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9665370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9665369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9665369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9665369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}