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\u201cUntil you bring the unconscious into awareness, it will steer your life, and you will label it destiny.\u201d ~C.G. Jung<\/strong><\/p>\n I spent a dozen years believing I had fashioned an ideal existence. I earned a “Summa Cum Laude” degree, pursued a respected career in human services, shared my life with a loving husband, and raised two healthy daughters. I thought I had put my past behind me.<\/p>\n Yet, trauma persists. It doesn’t disappear when you ignore it. It lies dormant, like a background application waiting to be activated.<\/p>\n At twenty-one, I exited a decade-long, toxic relationship that had overshadowed my teenage years. I lacked terms like “narcissistic abuse” or “gaslighting” back then; I merely viewed him as a man unable to get his life in order. He went to prison, and I moved on, erecting a fortress around my life.<\/p>\n Then, after twelve years, I faced him again. Let’s refer to him as X.<\/p>\n It was not a planned encounter. It was an unexpected meeting that felt electric. Within weeks, the stronghold I had constructed over a decade began to crumble.<\/p>\n I performed the unthinkable: I abandoned my family. I disrupted the tranquility I had cultivated to return to the man who nearly obliterated me as a girl.<\/p>\n From an external viewpoint, it seemed irrational; from an internal perspective, it felt like an irresistible pull. It was a biological “homecoming” for my unhealed nervous system. My mind and body gravitated towards the familiar trauma, disguised as “true love” and a “happily ever after.”<\/p>\n In less than a month, X’s mask slipped. The same jealous tendencies, mind games, and gaslighting resurfaced. But this time, I had changed.<\/p>\n I was now an adult, a mother. I was completing my master\u2019s degree, focusing on abusive relationships, and had spent years in human services.<\/p>\n Then, I experienced a revelation.<\/p>\n I vividly recall being in a cramped, shabby apartment\u2014where I relocated to be with X. I wasn\u2019t creating a dream home; I was equipped with a putty knife, repairing holes X had inflicted upon the walls.<\/p>\n As I covered the destruction with spackle, the absurdity struck me. I was a high-achieving professional, teaching others about empowerment and boundaries, yet concealing physical proof of my own collapse. I was attempting to hide the gaps in my life, believing that if the surface appeared unblemished, I wouldn\u2019t have to confront the underlying decay.<\/p>\n My “success narrative” throughout the decade was merely a layer of spackle. I encapsulated achievements over my “younger self,” but ignored the initial trauma, rendering my foundation weak.<\/p>\n At the first encounter with my<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cUntil you bring the unconscious into awareness, it will steer your life, and you will label it destiny.\u201d ~C.G. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9665446,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"Default","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9665445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9665445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9665445"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9665445\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9665446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9665445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9665445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualjourneydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9665445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Reappearance of the Known<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The Gaps in the Walls<\/strong><\/h3>\n