# Concealed Trauma: Indicators Frequently Confused with Personality Characteristics
Trauma isn’t confined to significant, life-changing incidents; it can arise from a series of subtle, ongoing experiences like emotional neglect, gaslighting, instability, and unresolved pain. These occurrences often accumulate over time and can be challenging to recognize as conventional “traumatic” happenings, particularly for children who may lack the means to contrast their experiences with those of others. As we grow into adulthood, we may exhibit behaviors that resemble parts of our characters but are actually manifestations of concealed trauma. Such behaviors can ensnare us in loops that influence our lives, relationships, and emotional well-being.
## The Four Trauma Reactions: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
Many are familiar with the “fight” or “flight” responses to trauma, which prompt individuals to instinctively protect themselves or escape peril. Nevertheless, trauma specialists have pinpointed two additional responses — **freeze** and **fawn**. While these reactions are prevalent, they tend to be less evident, providing vital insights into how trauma impacts people’s personalities and emotional behaviors.
### 1. **Freeze: Emotional Hibernation and Disengagement**
Sometimes the body’s reaction to trauma is to metaphorically and physically “freeze.” During this phase, individuals may detach from their feelings not just to cope but also to safeguard themselves. Those who experience freezing may appear aloof regarding their emotions, struggle to articulate how they feel, or even forget the sensation of crying — not due to an inability to feel deeply, but as a mechanism of self-protection against emotional harm.
#### Concealed Indicators:
– Inability to convey gentle emotions or cry for oneself.
– Feelings of dissociation or detachment from oneself and the surrounding world.
– Difficulty in fostering profound, connected relationships.
– A propensity to express emotions like anger or frustration, which seem more “acceptable” or “intense.”
– Preference for connecting with animals over people, as they perceive them to be a safer choice.
Freezing can lead to lost chances to fully appreciate life’s beauty and results in superficial connections, as emotional openness appears too perilous. Recovery from this condition can be daunting, yet it is crucial for establishing enduring bonds and happiness.
### 2. **Fawning: The Approval-Seeking Dilemma**
Individuals exhibiting the **fawn** reaction strive to appease, seek acknowledgment, and evade conflict, often transforming into people pleasers as adults. This response frequently results in **trauma bonding**— a toxic association where the emotional ties are rooted in abusive or manipulative patterns cloaked as love.
#### Concealed Indicators:
– An overwhelming craving for validation from others.
– Difficulty in setting personal limits or declining unreasonable requests.
– A constant aspiration to fit in, potentially causing a loss of personal identity.
– Low self-esteem, finding it challenging to accept compliments or recognize achievements.
– Hindrances in self-love due to excessive focus on gaining others’ approval.
Fawning may lead to self-neglect, wherein you sacrifice your needs to ensure that others find you likable or acceptable. Over time, this emotional toll diminishes your sense of self, fostering feelings of inferiority or lack of worth.
### 3. **Flight: Avoiding Painful Encounters**
Those in a **flight** response are perpetually searching for ways to escape, whether literally or figuratively. They might withdraw from relationships, commitments, or even introspection.
#### Concealed Indicators:
– Difficulty in establishing intimate bonds; prematurely ending relationships before they can deepen or become vulnerable.
– Hyper-vigilance or paranoia, perpetually questioning the intentions of others.
– Distrust of people, anticipating betrayal or rejection is imminent.
– Perfectionism and self-enforced high standards as a means to validate oneself, often hiding low self-esteem.
Flight leads to avoiding emotional vulnerability and an excessive desire for control. In attempting to sidestep abandonment or rejection, flight often results in solitude and alienation since significant connections are severed before they can take root.
### 4. **Fight: Shielding the Heart**
As the name suggests, individuals with the **fight** response are always emotionally armed. They often brace themselves for conflict — presuming that others will inflict hurt — which hinders the formation of meaningful, intimate relationships.
#### Concealed Indicators:
– Challenges in allowing others emotional access or redistributing trust.
– Constant vigilance for potential dangers, perpetually on the lookout for problems.
– Difficulties in relaxing or relishing serene moments without feeling anxious or threatened.
– An inclination towards aggressive independence, protecting oneself from any potential emotional harm.
For those in fight mode, everyday interactions may resemble a battleground. The continuous need for self-assertion and control can push loved ones away, leading to missed chances for intimacy.
## The Unseen Cost of Survival: Inner Turmoil
One of the most significant realizations for trauma survivors is that these responses often become self-directed, leading to a cycle of **self-sustained trauma**.