# Why Authentic Mindfulness Can Be Disconcerting at Times
Mindfulness is frequently depicted as a state of total tranquility and peace. You envision a serene getaway, a calm meditation session, or a moment of complete awareness. However, in truth, authentic mindfulness can be disconcerting, even jarring.
It compels us to confront the realities of our thoughts instead of retreating into distractions or deceit.
## The Mirage of Mindfulness
Numerous individuals think they are engaging in mindfulness while they are actually trapped in the mind’s greatest deception: believing they are present when they are not.
You shut your eyes, take deep breaths, and assure yourself that you are “in the moment.” But are you genuinely?
Real mindfulness is not about feeling tranquil or demonstrating anything to yourself. It’s about experiencing life exactly as it unfolds—free from filters, judgments, or evasion. And that is the reason it can be disconcerting.
## The Performance Trap: When Mindfulness Becomes an Act
Have you ever found yourself striving to be a “good” meditator?
Picture sitting down to meditate with a strong resolve:
**”I will be entirely present.”**
Instead of solely watching your breath, your mind begins to assess:
**”Am I doing this right?”**
**”Am I more mindful than I was before?”**
If that notion creeps in, mindfulness has morphed into a contest rather than an experience.
Mindfulness is not about being an authority on observing thoughts—it’s about gently bringing your focus back, repeatedly, to what is unfolding in this moment.
The instant mindfulness transforms into something to excel at, you forfeit the essence of what it truly represents.
## False Calm: Evading Emotions in the Name of Mindfulness
Mindfulness does not involve repressing emotions or pretending that hard feelings are nonexistent.
Recall a time when you experienced anger or sadness, and instead of confronting those emotions, you thought:
**”I should simply be mindful and let it pass.”**
However, true mindfulness entails sitting with discomfort, permitting emotions to surface, and witnessing them without casting them aside. If mindfulness renders you numb instead of conscious, you are utilizing it as an escape rather than a practice.
Think of mindfulness as enduring a storm rather than seeking refuge. You don’t have to cherish the storm, but you must acknowledge its existence.
## When Mindfulness Becomes an Identity
The instant you categorize yourself as “a mindful individual,” it can evolve into another ego trap.
You’ve perused the literature, engaged in meditation, and perhaps even provided mindfulness insights to others. Gradually, you begin to identify as someone who is perpetually self-aware.
Yet here lies the contradiction: If you genuinely believe you are mindful, you cease to question yourself.
Mindfulness is not about seeming wise or enlightened—it’s about consistently recognizing your thoughts, feelings, and reactions without clinging to them.
Much like attempting to hold water in your hands, mindfulness slips away the moment you grasp it too tightly.
## The Untamed Journey of True Mindfulness
How do you engage in genuine mindfulness? Not by imposing it, but by becoming conscious of the instances when your own mind is deceiving you.
If you notice yourself thinking, **“I’m very mindful,”** pause and inquire:
**“Is this awareness, or is this my ego taking control?”**
The crucial element is to view mindfulness as a continuous journey rather than a final goal.
Some days, mindfulness resembles traversing a clear trail. Other days, it feels like wandering through a thick forest with no discernible path. Both experiences are part of the journey.
**Authentic mindfulness means embracing the journey—even when it’s unsettling.**