Title: Why Genuine Mindfulness Can Sometimes Feel Awkward
When individuals envision mindfulness, they often picture serene meditation, calm thoughts, and effortless tranquility. We are encouraged to think of mindfulness as a peaceful journey filled with inner quiet and self-control. However, for those who genuinely engage in it, a surprising reality frequently becomes apparent: authentic mindfulness can feel quite unsettling.
Why is this the case?
Because genuine presence entails not escaping discomfort — it requires the courage to confront it.
Let’s delve into the deeper aspects of mindfulness and uncover why discomfort is not only normal but also essential on the path toward true awareness.
The Deception of Being Mindful
You sit in stillness. Eyes shut. Breathing gently.
You experience tranquility — concentrated.
Yet, a subtle inquiry emerges: Am I genuinely immersed in the moment, or merely acting out what I believe mindfulness should resemble?
Here lies one of the biggest paradoxes of mindfulness: When you start contemplating being present, you’re no longer in the moment. The mind delights in weaving stories, and one of its most convincing narratives is the illusion that you’ve “attained” mindfulness.
But mindfulness is not a finale — it’s a continuous return to the present. Over and over again.
True mindfulness doesn’t revolve around sustaining a state of tranquility. It’s about witnessing whatever arises — even if it’s anxiety, doubt, restlessness, sadness, or anger.
And that can be profoundly disconcerting.
The Performance Trap: When Mindfulness Turns into a Spectacle
Imagine you’ve dedicated yourself to daily meditation or mindful wandering. As time passes, you start assessing your progress:
❝ Am I more present than I was last week? ❞
❝ I believe I’m quite mindful now. Possibly more mindful than some people I know. ❞
This is the performance trap — transforming mindfulness into a criterion for evaluation. It mirrors the mindset that converts art into rivalry, or connection into a performance. It’s no longer about being; it’s about seeming to be.
In a similar vein, a musician who becomes overly self-conscious while playing may lose touch with the music. Likewise, when we strive excessively to project calmness or peace, we detach from our genuine contact with experience.
In practicing mindfulness, self-evaluation undermines the intent. If you’re aiming to “excel” at mindfulness, you’re no longer fully present in the moment. You’re drifting outside of it, assessing rather than experiencing it.
False Calm: Evading Challenging Emotions
Another misleading cue: utilizing mindfulness to repress emotions.
Picture experiencing tension following a disagreement or personal setback. You sit down to meditate and tell yourself:
❝ Release it. Maintain calmness. Be mindful. ❞
But instead of fully experiencing the emotion, you push it away in the name of tranquility. You employ mindfulness not to create space for feelings but to flee from them entirely.
This isn’t mindfulness — this is emotional suppression disguised as spiritual practice.
Real mindfulness proclaims, “I acknowledge you, anger. I sense you, grief. And I’m remaining with you.” It’s not about driving away pain; it’s about allowing it to exist in an open, non-judgmental space.
Like standing in the rain and admitting, “It’s wet, it’s chilly, and I feel exposed” — as opposed to pretending the storm isn’t real.
The Identity Trap: The “Mindful Person” Persona
As you delve deeper into your mindfulness practice, another pitfall emerges: ego-identification.
You’ve perused the literature. Engaged in meditation. Shared insights about presence. Perhaps friends now label you as “so grounded” or “zen.” It’s alluring to accept the identity of the “mindful individual.”
The downside? Assuming you’ve “become” mindful can lead to complacency regarding your awareness. You cease to learn — you merely perform. You might even find yourself advocating mindfulness to others while neglecting to embody it in real situations.
This subtle ego trap can be quite sneaky. The moment mindfulness transforms into an identity or a trophy, it loses its true meaning.
Genuine mindfulness cannot be owned. It must be felt repeatedly, with fresh perspectives and an open heart.
The Daily Practice of Discomfort
Here’s the aspect we frequently overlook: authentic mindfulness will unearth what you’ve attempted to conceal.
You’ll recognize your fears more distinctly. Emotions will surge while you sit in silence. Regrets, insecurities, restlessness — they all surface when distractions are removed.
And that signifies progress, not failure.
Mindfulness invites you to observe the full range of existence: the light and the dark, the clarity and the chaos. The practice is not designed to make you feel good — it aims to connect you with reality as it is.
And often, that feels raw.
So What Does Genuine Mindfulness Resemble?
– It’s sitting with restlessness and choosing not to divert your attention.
– It’s