“I don’t think individuals are in pursuit of life’s meaning as much as they are striving for the experience of truly living.” ~Joseph Campbell
While perched on my yoga mat with my legs stretched out, I leaned forward, grappling and tightening my jaw in an attempt to touch my toes. My irritation mounted with each moment.
A flood of negative thoughts surged through my mind.
This is useless. I thought yoga was meant to be relaxing. I’m so out of shape. Others manage this pose effortlessly. This hurts. Why engage in yoga? It’s futile.
This resistance on my mat hinted at a more profound concern. It wasn’t just about executing the pose correctly; it was the belief that if I couldn’t twist in a specific manner, I wasn’t advancing in my yoga instructor training.
I wasn’t meeting my objective. I wasn’t being “productive.”
Surely, there couldn’t be a more significant failure.
A Shared Mentality
The belief that your value is linked to productivity has seeped into every facet of our lives like a detrimental weed.
We are pressured to perpetually set targets, achieve something, or make progress. “Doing nothing” is perceived as idleness. Participating in a leisure activity without financial gain or public acknowledgment is regarded as a waste.
You only possess a limited number of days on this earth. If you’re not striving hard, your existence is questioned.
Writing a book? When is it hitting the shelves? How much revenue did you generate?
Started jogging? Why? Preparing for a marathon? What’s your weight goal?
Want to leave a mark? Want a list of accomplishments mentioned at your memorial?
In reality, the most profound moments in life lack a definitive purpose.
The beauty of a sunset can’t be translated into currency. Gazing at stars serves no purpose. A song that moves you doesn’t pay bills.
These moments thrive on joy and wonder, providing life with meaning. It’s high time we welcome them.
1. Set aside time for idleness.
Once I realized how the pressure for productivity tainted my happiness, I began reserving time just to “be.” For me, it meant sitting on my porch with a glass of wine, being present.
No devices, music, or screens.
At first, idleness stirred feelings of restlessness and guilt. What was the purpose of merely sitting and taking in the scenery? Shouldn’t I be engaged in something?
But as I continued to carve out these breaks, the guilt began to dissipate. More idleness allowed my spirit to flourish.
These wine-involved porch gatherings were merely one way to nurture gratitude and tranquility. I approached yoga with greater presence and less fixation on objectives.
The “5-4-3-2-1” meditation helped ground me:
Notice five things in your surroundings. Listen for four sounds. Feel three objects. Identify two scents. Taste one item. Combine senses as necessary.
These “being time” moments vary for everyone. The goal is to be mindful of the present.
Let go of the guilt associated with being “unproductive.” Grant yourself permission to do nothing, even if it’s just for a few moments each day.
2. Distinguish “self-love” from “selfishness.”
Granting yourself the space to “be” is crucial for self-love—a concept too often mistaken for selfishness.
This confusion stems from a societal preference for “hustle” over serenity, overlooking our emotions and boundaries.
Labeling self-love as selfish is an unhealthy perception of others, but a disregard for your own value.
Self-love recognizes your inherent worth as a human sharing this planet.
In practice, this involves engaging in activities that affirm this truth—whatever emotionally, mentally, and spiritually uplifts you.
For me, this means eating nutritious foods, practicing yoga, honoring my creativity by taking breaks to prevent burnout.
It includes terminating relationships borne from guilt or fear, practicing mindfulness through breathing techniques, and tending to my mental health.
These habits illustrate my self-love. Yours may vary. Pay attention to what brings you liberation and happiness. Seek that out.
Embrace your daily worth until it becomes an undeniable truth.
3. Allow yourself to exist without a “purpose.”
Have you ever been asked in a job interview, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Consider this your permission to not have clarity about the next five years—or even tomorrow.
Our only “purpose” is to seek and reflect love. Every individual deserves the freedom to discover their own journey.
In the end, life revolves around joy, not productivity or societal success standards. Give yourself the grace of existence. Simply being alive is extraordinary.
You are enough just as you are.