“Individuals with high sensitivity are frequently viewed as fragile or damaged. Experiencing emotions deeply is not a sign of frailty but rather the hallmark of truly living and being compassionate.” ~Anthon St. Maarten
Certain phrases become etched in our minds like searing hot irons. For me, those words were “you’re overly sensitive.”
As a child, I would routinely internalize this phrase directed at me with harshness and condescension, used as justification for the unkindness of others.
They might have uttered something hurtful or unkind in private or spread mortifying tales or falsehoods about me publicly.
No matter what, the result was consistent: I would take it in, feel emotionally overwhelmed, and either explode or weep.
However, my sensitivity wasn’t solely incited by malice; I didn’t only shed tears when provoked.
Well-meaning individuals would point out my sensitivity when I overthought trivial matters, such as delays in response or a presumed look of disapproval regarding my words.
Or they’d notice this trait in me when I took feedback personally, had difficulty moving beyond pain, or empathized deeply with the suffering of others.
It seemed as though society noticed something fundamentally wrong with me. Yet, I could not alter how I perceived and reacted to the world around me.
No one grasped the depth of my sensitivity, which ran far below the surface.
They had no idea that my mind was continuously contemplating not only my own experiences but also the challenges faced by those nearby.
They didn’t recognize how frequently I felt fatigued and overstimulated, or the tremendous effort it required just to exist in energetic or loud environments (especially being part of a large Italian family).
They were unaware of how often I felt anxious, nervous, and jittery due to my heightened sensory perceptions.
And I was unaware of a biological explanation for all this. Only years later did I learn about “highly sensitive person” (HSP) and come to understand that my brain processed and contemplated information more deeply than those of others.
Over time, I’ve come to embrace that some of my traits and behaviors correspond with being a highly sensitive individual.
I’ve realized that HSPs:
- Are especially observant and compassionate
- Engage with everything on a profound level
- Incorporate others’ emotions and recognize underlying issues
- Detect nuances that often escape others’ notice
- Have heightened intuition
- Can easily feel drained or overwhelmed in chaotic or overstimulating environments
I also recognized how some of my previous behaviors were indeed responses to this sensitivity, such as:
- Overthinking what others expressed or did
- Accepting others’ judgments as reality
- Criticizing myself instead of addressing my needs
- Consuming alcohol to numb feelings in overstimulating environments instead of avoiding them or finding ways to ground myself
- Disregarding intuitive messages about unhelpful people or circumstances
- Absorbing others’ distress without establishing boundaries
Although I am by no means a specialist in maneuvering through life as a highly sensitive person, I’ve made progress throughout the years. I still