“Rest is not mere inactivity; lying on the grass beneath the trees on a summer day, listening to the gentle water flow, or observing clouds drift by is certainly not a waste of time.” ~John Lubbock
For many years, I thought feeling exhausted signified a fully utilized day. I took pride in my tiredness, believing I had maximized every second until I was completely spent.
Whenever I found myself weary, I made an effort to finish yet another task. If I needed to rest, I scolded myself for being weak. Those around me seemed effortlessly capable of late nights, accepting every request, and handling everything with ease.
Thus, I pressed on, consumed more coffee, brushed aside the anxiety that pounded in my chest, and promised myself to take a break “later” as a reward. However, when that “later” came, I was too exhausted to do more than grab some comfort food and zone out in front of the television.
At my core, my weariness resulted not merely from overexertion but from attempting to become the person I believed others expected. I gave all I had, leaving nothing for myself.
I was worn out from seeking approval.
When Rest Feels Dangerous
Seeking approval is often confused with being kind, but in reality, it’s a survival tactic. Psychologists refer to it as the “fawn response.” When options like fight or flight aren’t available, some of us adapt by appeasing others—agreeing, saying yes, and steering clear of conflict at all costs.
While this may offer protection in dangerous settings, it eventually takes a toll. The body remains hyper-vigilant—attuned to others’ requirements, gauging vocal tones, always ready to jump in and placate.
In such a condition, resting feels impossible.
When I tried to slow down—be it sitting quietly, lying down, or taking a deep breath—my body resisted. My chest throbbed with tension, my throat tightened, as if resting was a threat. Idleness felt perilous, as though I would face upset, rejection, or abandonment if I wasn’t useful.
Therefore, I kept moving. Externally, I seemed effective and dependable. Internally, I was running low on energy.
The Price of Continuous Activity
When resting equates to insecurity, a life steeped in exhaustion becomes the standard.
The body suffers. I developed a stress knot in my shoulder, had poor posture, and continuous fatigue.
The mind deteriorates. Anxiety intensified, whispering that I was falling short.
The