Are You Extremely Emotionally Reactive? You Could Be in Survival Mode

“Survival mode is meant to be a temporary state that assists in preserving your life. It should not define your existence.” ~Michele Rosenthal

Many regard childhood as the most cherished stage of life, yet no adult emerges unscathed. Each person undergoes experiences with friends, family, and educational settings that leave emotional scars.

In my upbringing, my parents balanced the challenges of raising three children while seeking improved financial situations, which often made me feel ignored. Unintentionally, I was overwhelmed with feelings of being misunderstood, isolation, inadequacy, and unworthiness.

Years of striving to please others, pursuing an unsuitable master’s degree, and ascending the corporate hierarchy to achieve success ultimately resulted in a surge of repressed emotions. This boiling point manifested as physical ailments, allergies, persistent pain, and sleepless nights due to rashes, leading to a breakdown.

I recognized that my body had been communicating with me since childhood.

I often cried and was tagged as sensitive, frequently unwell, and labeled a “weakling” by my parents. I would either scream or retreat into solitude. This triggered a pattern of feeling inundated and self-hating for not conforming to societal expectations.

During my breakdown in adulthood, I found myself weeping on the floor and decided to leave my job to study psychology. The path was not easy, but engaging with psychology enabled me to understand my actions better.

I was not overly reactive nor sensitive; rather, I was existing in survival mode, with my body interpreting everything as potentially dangerous. My bodily response aimed to shield me from uncertainties by activating fight, flight, or freeze responses. I became hyper-aware of others’ emotions and reactions, leading to a state where my body could not relax and felt perpetually fatigued.

Our bodies are designed to confront dangers and then return to a state of tranquility. However, when our minds cannot handle extreme emotions, they stay in a continual state of alertness, providing a kind of armor that ultimately becomes counterproductive as we grapple with anxiety.

Living in a constant state of alertness can begin to feel familiar, even appealing, compelling us to attract chaos and relationships that trigger emotional turbulence.

However, liberation is achievable. Reprogramming the mind and body for optimal well-being and satisfaction is demanding but feasible.

Each individual’s journey is unique, and identifying what works best for oneself is crucial. Here are some strategies that benefitted me, which might also help you if this resonates.

1. Remind yourself that you can manage whatever occurs.

In survival mode, the mind creates worst-case scenarios to safeguard itself. Acknowledging that control is limited and that worry won’t provide security aids in releasing fear-based defenses. Concentrate on what you can influence and deliberately choose uplifting thoughts. Regardless of the outcome, believe that you will cope and remain secure.

2. Rewire your brain through mindfulness.

Evaluate if emotions are triggering thoughts or if the reverse is true. Consider the mind’s distortions that provoke particular feelings. For example, if a friend doesn’t respond quickly, you might speculate about upsetting them, resulting in negative emotions. Viewing them merely as busy can lead to a different emotional reaction. Cultivating mindfulness helps in preventing spirals caused by baseless thoughts.

3. Conduct a body scan.

Your body communicates in subtle ways. Regularly check in with your feelings to uncover emotions. Are your muscles tight? Is your heart pounding? Is your jaw clenched? By recognizing bodily responses to perceived threats, you can implement proactive measures to soothe your nervous system—such as practicing deep breathing, engaging with pets, or connecting with nature.

4. Show kindness to yourself.

Adjusting to change is challenging, so offer yourself compassion. After long-term survival, the focus shifts toward intentional thriving.

December 2025

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