Are we just supposed to let them suffer? When I was a kid living with depression having no one to tell me I was sick, I thought that was just how the world works. People are mean and the system is broken, I should just wait out the clock until it’s my time to go. Don’t rock the boat, and don’t complain, because other people have it harder. Be thankful for what you have. Yet, that never sat right with me, it doesn’t seem fair that I believe life is an illusion and other people think it’s real. Life is just the most real thing we’ve experienced so far.
As a child, I spent most of my nights praying to a God I didn’t understand for desires with ramifications I couldn’t predict. I wanted to be rich so my family wouldn’t have to worry about money but I hadn’t met any rich people yet. I wanted to have friends but I had yet to recognize the value of solitude. I wanted the newest clothes and coolest shoes so I could fit in but no one told me they were made in sweatshops.
In the time since my prayers had fallen on deaf ears, I’ve met rich people, I’ve made lots of friends, and I’ve worn the best brand names. The rich seemed entitled, my friends were distracted and the clothes got worn out just like their cheap counterparts. Nothing ever seemed to last.
Initially, I was in awe of the nice cars, big houses, and drugs on demand that wealth could provide. I was jealous of how it attracted other people as well, yet upon further investigation something was missing. Eventually, I stopped being impressed as I grew accustomed to the shiny things and my wealthy counterparts could only back up their worth with the next best thing they planned on getting. They didn’t have any valuable life experience, they weren’t humble, and their only goal was to make more money. The honest-to-God life plan was to make a number go up so they could afford more things they didn’t realize would get old just as quickly.
As for my friends, I would watch as their opinions of others were heavily influenced by rumors spread on social media while I grew to understand the perils of groupthink. A good night was spent drinking and smoking while no one dared to think outside the box. Their worldviews had already been shaped by doting parents in communities where they wanted to be accepted. Questioning the way things were done was taboo, it is what it is, don’t fix what isn’t broken.
When your life is good enough there’s no reason to ask why or what can be improved. For as long as I can remember I have been told I ask too many questions. Why is that person weird, what happens after we die, why am I getting in trouble? The answer more often than not was, “Because I said so”. That was never good enough for me. Couldn’t these people see how their actions fed the system that kept them oppressed?
Their poor diets led to years of declining health. The products they buy were made by someone else who wasn’t getting paid enough and hated their job. Every goal they set for themselves takes them another step away from really learning what this earthly experience is about. Yet every moment brings them closer to a reality they aren’t ready to cope with. Old age, sickness, or death manifested in themselves or someone they care about.
It breaks my heart to watch people get blindsided by the passing of a loved one or an unexpected illness. To hear them grapple with despair, lost in their search for reason. Asking why, but knowing deep down no one has the answers they’re looking for. For others, it’s just the slow march toward death without any real sense of meaning or how their actions contribute to the global community. Consuming intoxicants to distract from a sober reality, allowing their emotions to be swayed by whatever power stands to profit from mass capitulation. Ignorant of the toll such vices take long-term on both body and mind over a lifetime.
Yet, who am I to judge? A being whose perspective is nothing more than a bubble peering in on the mechanism that is the Divine? All of my spiritual teachers have cautioned me not to intervene. That the Tao works in mysterious ways and still, every day I struggle with accepting this world for what it is. How can I find peace when people are killed in unnecessary wars every day, and children starve because we would rather let food go to waste than give it out for free? Admittedly, I’m a little too empathetic, my brain always trying to imagine the pain of others but that isn’t my journey.
Looking back I really wouldn’t take the depression away from young me. Even after decades of despair and loneliness, because that’s what got me here. There’s no telling what my life would be like if I enjoyed being alive. Perhaps I wouldn’t have the passion I do today. I might have never sought out spirituality because I wouldn’t have had a reason to ponder what would happen to me when I was gone. My point is that much of other people’s lives are just a preamble to the life they want to live. When I try to rescue people, I might rob them of another lesson from the Universe. My interference although well-intentioned might save them years of heartbreak but set them equally behind in their understanding of the nature of this world.
Just as a parent allows a child to fall and get back up the Divine allows us to go through life to learn our lessons. We make our own mistakes while a soft breeze gently guides us in the right direction. So subtle we often miss it but it’s there for anyone willing to listen. Every day I squirm at the thought of people suffering as the product of an unnecessary system but there’s always a soft voice that persists “Just breathe and be mindful”. The stakes of this life often seem daunting, but I know that’s only because I’m in it. There will come a time when I’m old and wise looking back on my youth wondering what I was so worried about. I’ll have done it already and everything turned out fine.
What would one say at the end of it all, the Universe I mean? Some passive observer who loved everything enough to create it and let it go. Present for every dream and heartache, knowledgeable as to how it all plays out. Beyond the fear of the unknown or any threat, impervious to desire. They’ve got it all, what more could you want? The only thing in my opinion capable of sitting with everyone through all of this is peace. Eternally understanding and still allowing it all to happen without trying to save everyone. Knowing how scary it can all be because it already happened and everything turned out alright in the end. Admittedly, that’s beyond me but I can empathize. I can have my heart broken over and over and lose my last shred of hope but trust things will be alright because that’s just how it happens. I’ve got to learn to let it be.